Monday, September 23, 2013

Be Mindful and Practice Blind Compassion

Although, on the outside, a person looks as if they’re in perfect health, there can be unseen issues of which they’re dealing with.  The issues can hold someone back from basic enjoyable experiences, as simple as swimming at a public pool or attending social events.  This goes much further than emotional instability or social anxiety.  These two afore-mentioned conditions are often symptoms of a larger problem. 

We’ve all met someone who has been dealing with personal issues, ranging from a recent divorce to loss of a job, which are all temporary states.    Usually, once someone overcomes the given emotional turmoil, set on by these events, they’re back to themselves and it becomes ancient history.   What about the people that deal with a chronic illness on a daily basis and will for the rest of their lives?  

Think about it; typically, a person going through a divorce or changing careers openly speaks to others about their problems.  People will offer support and give them breaks out of understanding and compassion.  At one point or another most of the population has experienced a sense of loss or turmoil, hence, making these problems more relatable to a larger number.   With chronic diseases or unseen illnesses there is a lack of understanding, and if anything, an abundance of ignorance which can create fear and cause people to shy away from supporting those who suffer. 

It’s not hard to understand someone who’s experienced loss, because we all have.  It requires more effort to understand someone with a disease we know nothing about and to overcome our own fears due to the unknown.   The real point here is to consider other’s feelings regardless of what you know, and if you’re truly afraid, educate yourself.  You’ll make it easier on yourself, as well as, broaden your empathy for people that will never heal and those that deal with physical and emotional pain on a daily basis. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Ex: To Call or Not to Call?

We all know that our ex-boyfriends are history for a reason, but we still miss them at times and consider what could have been.  Top 3 reminders to keep ourselves from making that late night call or reaching out in times of despair:

1)  They weren't there for you when you needed them anyway.

Typically, people like companionship and prefer it to being alone.  It's nice to talk to someone about the events of your day, and maybe have a few laughs and cuddles.

HOWEVER! The ex-boyfriend was probably faking his way through that the first few months and then lazily dropped the act as time went on.  We've all been there. :)

2)  They cost too much.

Yes, in relationships it's necessary to give and take. Some men, excuse me, boys, are juvenile narcissists whose sense of entitlement is that of a king in the 16th century.  I don't mean solely monetarily, but also with regards to effort and willingness.  Women these days are able to flex their independence and ensure their own future through their own means.  Some men act insecurely about a woman's independence, others milk the generosity until we beat them over the head with a reality check. Ladies, save your money and your energy for someone worthy of it.

3)  They were no good in bed, but thought they were.

A heterosexual man's sense of self, regardless of financial status, physique or how fancy their car is, depends primarily on how good they are in bed.  Most of them think they are great in bed and will share stories with you to support their conclusion.  The funny thing is, many times women are lying. If we like the guy and don't want to knock his manhood, we tell him what he wants to hear.  This isn't all the time, but most women have faked an orgasm once in their life.  Sometimes it's to save the guy's self esteem or get it over with.  Either way, by the time we're done with a man, we're also ready to spill the beans about how much they didn't satisfy us in bed.  They usually don't believe us.

Don't dwell on the past; understand why it's over and remember you're better off without someone taking advantage of you or being a dead end.  Live with love and it will find you.

 Regardless of whether you have
a man or not, the truest love comes from you.